Crystal Westfield 6/19/19 Crystal Westfield 6/19/19

Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionist.

I am definitely what I call a self proclaimed, recovering, perfectionist. I am also an imperfect woman. Overcoming perfectionism is something that I have worked on for many years, but not with the intensity or in the way that I have within the last couple of years. I have really embraced my imperfection, and if I had not, there would be no blogposts, no website, no social media posts, and no podcast episodes from me.

What I learned and embraced is that I can still make an impact and I can still be powerful even in my imperfections! Even in my imperfections I have the ability to make a positive impact on this world, and I am more powerful with the imperfections than without. This realization came and through the understanding is when I truly was able to tap into the internal power and overcome the fear of not being perfect.

I wish I could say there was a memory or a pivotal moment in hostory where perfectionism was birthed for me, but I can't specifically identify where that perfectionism really started. What I do know is that I have experienced a mindset if perfectionism as long as I can remember. In childhood I had a desire to please my parents and I didn't want to seem like I wasn’t living up to something that I felt was important, necessary, or what they wanted. This perspective was formed regardless of whether they communicated that expectation to me or not. It had less to do with them and factual events, and instead was my belief and perception of something. As an adult I attended college and developed a career, which I know perpetuated this idea of needing to be perfect.

So really what is perfectionism?

Being perfect is about a perspective. Just like art. Art is about perspective that is held by the individual. So often it's the idea of perfectionism that we personally conjure up in our minds, and it is rooted in fear.

So how could perfectionism be rooted in fear?

It’s preventing you from doing the things that you need to do. It’s procrastination. This is the realization that you need to grasp. Once I realized that the thought of needing perfection, is really procrastinating, it opened up my eyes.

The procrastination comes from a belief that things have to be perfect based on a perspective that may be rooted in facts, but is usually not, rather it is rooted in fear. And when we seek perfection, we actually stunt our growth, miss opportunities, and limit the ability to transform our life and the lives of others around us. That is not to say a perfectionist doesn’t seek excellence, but there is a difference between excellence and perfection. The difference is in the action.

Perfectionists want to gather all the information, get all the knowledge, and wait until the conditions are perfect. However, the thing is, it's never going to be perfect. Also, it's probably never going to feel like the right time in the mind of the perfectionist. I know what it’s like, we can get in our way, because in our minds there is a perception that we have of what perfection is and what it means to be successful. Perfectionists fear failing. Perfectionists fear falling short.

Progression is more important than perfection and done is better than perfect, because done will accomplish way more than waiting around for perfection. Often times perfectionists don’t do something becasue they think other people won’t think it’s perferct or even “good enough”. But your progress, your choices, your decisions, your purpose is none of their business. If someone gives an opinion, their opinion, and it doesn't fit, then dust it off and let it go. The problem is that often times the opinion of others validates the thoughts or fears that we already had; however, it is formed in a perspective and it doesn’t define a your worth or value.

The simple answer to overcoming perfectionism is to take action.

For more information on conquering hidden fears you can listen to the Convos with Crystal podcast episode by clicking here

xo Crystal

P.S. I know this isn’t always easy, which is why I offer individual and group coaching. If you’re interested in learning more about my life and or leadership coaching program I would love to hear from you, just click here

Crystal Westfield 6/3/19 Crystal Westfield 6/3/19

Conquering Hidden Fears

Something that is often times not discussed when desiring to become a better version of yourself is the impact of fear. I know it well because I've experienced it. Not too long ago my word for the year, that is my mantra for everything I did that year, was FEARLESS. It doesn't mean you have no fear. Fearless means you are fearing less. It means even in the face of feeling fear, you courageously step out in action. For me, in each season of my life, and each professional endeavor, I've experienced fear. Fear is something that we often don’t recognize consciously and the unconscious fear can lead to missed opportunities and prevent us from reaching the success we desire.

When you can identify the fear but not dwell on it, that's when you can tap into the power. I have done it and I know that you've done it as well, but you may not always recognize it. Fear actually prevents us from changing and transforming into the person that we want to be. It prevents us from meeting our goals and succeeding in specific areas. So right now, I encourage you to look at the different areas of your life and the different seasons of your life to identify where you have experienced fear. Then break down those experiences into categories of where you've conquered fear, and where you're still allowing fear to rule over that area of your life. This exercise will bring some clarity.

Fear comes in many forms including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It is common to have fear of the unknown such as fearing a new stage of life. It is also common to fear the opinions of others. I have seen more individuals stay stagnant because they fear what other people will think, than any other fear. The fear that you experience is a mindset that is preventing you from taking action.

If fear is a mindset, then how do you conquer fear?

By taking action! Yes, you need to take action.

Remember those areas in which you've already conquered fear? You removed the poswer of fear by taking action. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t have any fear, it means that the action you took superseded any ruminating thoughts. The mind is a powerful tool, and if you can overcome those fearful and ruminating thoughts in your mind, then you can just take action and overcome the fear. Fear tells you that there are areas you don't have control over, that you don't have power over, but you do have the power. There is power inside of you that gives you the strength you need to take action. Ruminating negative thoughts around fear is what removes your power, however, action produces power to overcome and conquer those inhibiting thoughts and beliefs.

What you must understand is that the power to transform cannot compete with negative thoughts. The strength and power within you is not going to compete with those type of thoughts. So if you're ruminating on negative thoughts and negativity, then you cannot activate your power. Your power is actually activated by things that are true, not worries, not negativity, and not hurtful thoughts or rumination. You're power is actually activated not only by action, but on how and who you were created to be.

What is your purpose? That answer lies in your passion.

So if you know something to be untrue, and if you know that those things that you fear, those thoughts, and worrying about what other people are thinking, know this….you weren't created to worry about what other people are doing because that's what prevents you from actually stepping into your passion and your purpose. If you’re worried about what other people think, that's what is preventing you from actually taking action. I want to encourage you to stop thinking about what others think because

You do not need anyone's permission to be who you were created to be, to fulfill your purpose and passion in life. Stop giving your power away to other people. The moment you start thinking about their opinions and their thoughts, that’s when you have given it away.

You get to choose, and you either keep your power or you give it away. In order to conquer your hidden fears you have to realize that you hold the power (in your mindset), and then you must take action to negate those fears.