Overcoming Perfectionism

Perfectionist.

I am definitely what I call a self proclaimed, recovering, perfectionist. I am also an imperfect woman. Overcoming perfectionism is something that I have worked on for many years, but not with the intensity or in the way that I have within the last couple of years. I have really embraced my imperfection, and if I had not, there would be no blogposts, no website, no social media posts, and no podcast episodes from me.

What I learned and embraced is that I can still make an impact and I can still be powerful even in my imperfections! Even in my imperfections I have the ability to make a positive impact on this world, and I am more powerful with the imperfections than without. This realization came and through the understanding is when I truly was able to tap into the internal power and overcome the fear of not being perfect.

I wish I could say there was a memory or a pivotal moment in hostory where perfectionism was birthed for me, but I can't specifically identify where that perfectionism really started. What I do know is that I have experienced a mindset if perfectionism as long as I can remember. In childhood I had a desire to please my parents and I didn't want to seem like I wasn’t living up to something that I felt was important, necessary, or what they wanted. This perspective was formed regardless of whether they communicated that expectation to me or not. It had less to do with them and factual events, and instead was my belief and perception of something. As an adult I attended college and developed a career, which I know perpetuated this idea of needing to be perfect.

So really what is perfectionism?

Being perfect is about a perspective. Just like art. Art is about perspective that is held by the individual. So often it's the idea of perfectionism that we personally conjure up in our minds, and it is rooted in fear.

So how could perfectionism be rooted in fear?

It’s preventing you from doing the things that you need to do. It’s procrastination. This is the realization that you need to grasp. Once I realized that the thought of needing perfection, is really procrastinating, it opened up my eyes.

The procrastination comes from a belief that things have to be perfect based on a perspective that may be rooted in facts, but is usually not, rather it is rooted in fear. And when we seek perfection, we actually stunt our growth, miss opportunities, and limit the ability to transform our life and the lives of others around us. That is not to say a perfectionist doesn’t seek excellence, but there is a difference between excellence and perfection. The difference is in the action.

Perfectionists want to gather all the information, get all the knowledge, and wait until the conditions are perfect. However, the thing is, it's never going to be perfect. Also, it's probably never going to feel like the right time in the mind of the perfectionist. I know what it’s like, we can get in our way, because in our minds there is a perception that we have of what perfection is and what it means to be successful. Perfectionists fear failing. Perfectionists fear falling short.

Progression is more important than perfection and done is better than perfect, because done will accomplish way more than waiting around for perfection. Often times perfectionists don’t do something becasue they think other people won’t think it’s perferct or even “good enough”. But your progress, your choices, your decisions, your purpose is none of their business. If someone gives an opinion, their opinion, and it doesn't fit, then dust it off and let it go. The problem is that often times the opinion of others validates the thoughts or fears that we already had; however, it is formed in a perspective and it doesn’t define a your worth or value.

The simple answer to overcoming perfectionism is to take action.

For more information on conquering hidden fears you can listen to the Convos with Crystal podcast episode by clicking here

xo Crystal

P.S. I know this isn’t always easy, which is why I offer individual and group coaching. If you’re interested in learning more about my life and or leadership coaching program I would love to hear from you, just click here

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