When you married your spouse, if you were like most people, you were "in love".  And sometimes those feelings begin to diminish.  The reason these feelings can diminish is because being "in love" is an infatuation, a feeling.  And like all feelings, it can come and go.  

Surprisingly, love is not a feeling.  

Love is an action.

 Love is a choice.  

When people say they have "fallen out of love", well they are no different than anyone else because the novelty and infatuation, the lust, wears off and often goes away with the day to day grind of life.  The difference between people who stay loving one another and those who do not comes down to choices.  The choice to love.  Choosing to love when you do not "feel like it" or you feel that your spouse "doesn't deserve it" is what actually keeps your love alive.  It is in those difficult moments when you want to give up, but choose to love anyways, that you actually experience transformation in your marriage.  

So what does "choosing to love" look like?

 It is choosing to stay silent when you want to "go off".

 It is choosing peace over war.

 It is choosing to be positive when you want to be negative.

 It is choosing kindness and gentleness.  

Choosing to succeed over failure.

 Choosing to be humble.  

Choosing resolution over a win.  

Choosing to love is choosing to remove yourself in order to grow and transform your marriage.  And in doing so, you will experience an added benefit of growth and transformation within yourself! 

For more information on choosing love and growing in marriage, my husband and I have a new podcast called the Marriage Grind and you can check it out by clicking here

xo Crystal

P.S. I know this isn’t easy, marriage is difficult, which is why my husband and I offer marriage coaching. If you’re interested in receiving help or learning more about marriage coaching, send me an email click here

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